On April 16, North Jersey Pride will bring a bullying awareness assembly, “Stand Up, Speak Out,” to the 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th grades at Jefferson Elementary and Maplewood Middle Schools. The assemblies will address, among other hurtful language, the use of homophobic slurs — such as “that’s so gay!” — in an effort to make students more aware of the power of their words and why it is so important to stand up for others.
Despite progress on marriage equality both in New Jersey and nationally, harassment and bullying persist in our schools. The most recent statistics are more than alarming: a 2013 GLSEN survey of New Jersey students found that 92% heard “gay” used in a negative way and 87% heard other homophobic slurs (e.g., “fag” or “dyke”) at school regularly. Another 83% heard negative remarks because of gender expression, and more than half regularly heard negative remarks about transgender people.
Looking at the numbers, is it any wonder that suicide remains an epidemic among LGBTQ teens? Even in diverse, progressive towns like Maplewood and South Orange, homophobic slurs are rampant in the halls of our schools. This toxic language affects not only LGBTQ children and gender-nonconforming youth, but any child with a gay or transgender parent, grandparent, sibling or other close family member or friend.
This past year, Zan, a Maplewood Middle School student who has two mothers, reached a breaking point over the homophobic comments he was hearing from his fellow students. “One day he came home and said ‘I just can’t take this anymore,’” recalls his mother, Randy Rabney. “He said, ‘It’s personal to me and also there are kids at the school who are gay and it’s their community too. Everyone has the right to feel safe and welcome. It’s a distraction from learning.’”
Zan asked his parents to meet with school guidance counselor Beth Giladi to request a school assembly to address the issue. The school administration was soon eager to move forward. They reached out to North Jersey Pride because they’d heard about a successful program we held at Jefferson Elementary this past June with the 3rd, 4th and 5th grades.
“One of the major initiatives this year is to become mindful of the language we use with one another and to have all staff and students be partners in having our school be a place where everyone feels welcome and included,” said Giladi. “Maplewood Middle School is excited to benefit from the wisdom and caring of North Jersey Pride. This open and honest presentation will help further our conversation towards being a fully inclusive middle school.”
The three assemblies—one for 5th grade at Jefferson Elementary, one for 6th and 7th grades and another for the 8th grade at MMS—will include the personal stories of two Columbia students: Russell Pinzino, who will speak about his experience being an openly gay student, and Luciana Arbus-Scandiffio, who will share her experience as the daughter of two mothers.
The program will also bring in Tim Federle, an award-winning author of books for tweens, who speaks to middle schoolers around the country about his journey from bullied teen to Broadway dancer to debut novelist. Tim will facilitate an important, frank discussion with the students about the power of language, why words can and do hurt, and why students have got to start standing up for one another, and for what they know is right.
This is a problem that plagues our community as a whole, and it is therefore one we have to get together to solve. We at North Jersey Pride are thrilled that Maplewood Middle School and Jefferson Elementary are stepping up to this challenge. This program will be a great starting point for a discussion that we hope will continue in the classrooms throughout the year. Every single child deserves to feel safe and comfortable being himself or herself at school.
The district and MMS have no budget for the assembly, so North Jersey Pride is working to fundraise $3,000 to cover program expenses. You can help with just a small donation. Visit the Razoo crowdfunding site here to contribute: https://www.razoo.com/story/Standupspeakout?fb_ref=Default
C.J. Prince is Executive Director of North Jersey Pride, which is based in Maplewood, NJ.
Click on any photo below to see a slideshow of assembly-related images.
